Minnesota: Dog Poop With Sprinkles.
By Steve | May 11, 2012
This is a NASA satellite photo of Minnesota:
The turd on the upper left is a place called Grand Forks. I don’t think it’s really a city, I think it’s more of a sewer. But, then, I guess if it was a city, you might just as well call it a sewer.
No, maybe the analogy of a sewer isn’t quite right. I’ve been there before. I think a sewer would be more interesting, and would have more color.
The poop on the left represents the average size of the Minnesota male’s penis (erect).
Okay, before you think it, you wouldn’t laugh at the Special Olympics would you? The width of the poop in the picture would be slightly more than twice the size of the average Minnesota male’s erect penis.
Topics: Da Basics | 2 Comments »
The Most Beautiful Woman in Minnesota
By Steve | May 2, 2012
Here she is, the most beautiful woman in Minnesota:
Somebody told me that she even has a giant purple penis! No evidence of a penis in this photo, though. It has a nicely shaven woman-thigh.
Topics: Da Basics | 3 Comments »
What’s a North Dakota?
By Steve | April 25, 2012
What is a North Dakota?
Is that when one testicle hangs an inch higher than the other?
It sounds worse than a northern Minnesota.
A northern Minnesota is when a turd doesn’t come completely out of your ass, your shorts ride too high, and you get a long, brown, solid skid-mark.
Topics: Uncategorized | No Comments »
I Hate Minnesota: A Few Google Search Results
By Steve | April 11, 2012
Just the first few search results from Googling “I Hate Minnesota.”
This is a good one. I don’t know the woman that has this blog, but she’s pretty smart, clever, and witty. Vagablonde Bombchelle: Top 10 things I hate about Minnesota
I Hate Minneapolis – I Hate St. Paul – What’s Bad About Living in the …
Fat Little Legs: Why I Hate Minnesota
Topics: Da Basics | No Comments »
Shakopee: The Music Capitol of Minnesota
By Steve | March 27, 2012
People in Minnesota are just as sophisticated as they think they are: Vanilla!
If you can’t listen to B108 FM, Minnesota’s Ultimate Music Scene, you can always go to the Shakopee Knights of Columbus. Is that Yetti on the right in the video?
I’d swear I know Illiterate Lisa from somewhere. 
Some Minnesotans don’t like it because it hits a little too close to home. Sometimes people don’t like what they see in the mirror: Local Current Blog - Minnesota radio parodied on SNL. I was born in Minnesota. I lived there for 34 years. I lived in Minneapolis – Saint Paul for 15 years. The people at Saturday Night Live nailed this sketch. This is a glimpse of the real Minnesota.
Topics: Da Basics, music | No Comments »
Albuquerque – Roy
By Steve | March 14, 2012
A long time ago, in 1985, when I got out of the Army, I rode my motorcycle from El Paso, Texas to Rochester, Minnesota.
Why did I ride a motorcycle from Texas to Minnesota, one-way? Because I was a fucking idiot! My excuse? I was 21 and didn’t know any better.
1982 Suzuki GS 550L
I wasn’t just some pussy on a bike. I understood bikes. Many of the people I have known that rode bikes were just fucking idiots. They were trying to buy an image or some self esteem. They were fucking morons. If you have ever owned a motorcycle without making a 1000 mile road trip on it, you can kiss my ass!
Why? Because you’re a fucking pussy!
. . . To be continued
. . . And, since I’m in Albuquerque, a little more on Roy. Apparently, Fedex really delivers.
Topics: Da Basics | No Comments »
Rosemary’s Baby
By Steve | March 11, 2012
Erica Lehnhoff & Ray Attridge’s Baby Registry
Topics: Da Basics | No Comments »
Minnesota: The Turd that Fell from God’s Ass
By Steve | February 22, 2012
To start, some poetry worthy of Minnesota:
Minnesota it doth suck ass
From God’s behind it fell
And those who do doth live there
Will live their lives in hell
For stupid are the entire lot
In brains they don’t excel
And so they will live their lives
In an ignorant northern hell
For brains they do not have
To get up and leave
They are too fucking stupid
They make me want to heave
Collectively they aren’t that smart
They’re all just fucking stupid
They remind me all too much
Of Mat and fucking Putrid
© 2012 Steven Foster
Top 10 things I hate about Minnesota
1000 Reasons To Hate…Minnesota.
.
The Official Minnesota SUCKS! Home Page
Minnesota Sucks: Minnesota Sucks
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Super PAC: Spreading The Word
By Steve | February 14, 2012
Minnesota sucks. Stephen Colbert doesn’t. So, to help him out:
Colbert Super PAC | Making a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Credit to Stephen Colbert from The Colbert Report and SpreadingSantorum.
Oh, and Minnesota still sucks ass.
They’re pretty rough, but they make the point.
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The Minnesota ViQueens
By Steve | December 19, 2011
The Minnesota Vikings Suck – always have, always will.
Sound Off | Let’s face it, the Vikings are a very bad team
They suck!
Minnesota Vikings: Bad Record Puts Stadium Effort to the Ultimate Test
It Sure Does Suck To Be A Vikings Fan (Video)
NFL Minnesota Vikings Suck Theme Song
I agree. When it comes to testicle sucking, it’s my opinion that the Minnesota Vikings are the best testicle suckers around.
Topics: Sports, The Vikings, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »